The State of The State Address Jan. 18, 2006

(As reported Jan. 16, 2006)

I think the standing ovation by the RINOs holding “Republicans For Lynch For Congress” signs was a little over the top, but I'm used to that by now.

The Governor revealed the theme of his speech early on; it was bi-partisanship! As long as the Democrats vote as a block and the 'Republicans in name only' split away from their party of convenience, things in the Granite State will keep on going swimmingly and we can all keep raising taxes, as the Benson surplus rolls in.

Well, he didn't frame it quite like that but it was close.

Bi-partisanship, bi-partisanship, bi-partisanship prevails! Except saving the shipyard in Portsmouth -- that was mostly a Lynch operation with a little meddling from the Congressional delegations of two states. But he got it done all right.

And we will save the children and the environment by “investing” in our future with bi-partisan support.

The only issues of course that will not be bi-partisan are to clean up the ethics in our state and to keep the evil partisan (you know who we mean) skinflints from stealing our seniors' drugs and social security checks.

(At this point a Union Leader reporter swooned – overcome with delight, and had to be airlifted back to Manchester for resuscitation.)

Lynch, the Governor, was on a roll now. He knew everyone had forgotten about the ongoing E-Z Pass mess, the cigarette tax, Ned Helms the UNH paid office boy “volunteer” and the Transportation Commissioner going public with an accusation of gubernatorial intimidation, or even that there never was a $300 million deficit. There was no reference to attempting to pack the Ethics Commission. No state employees were gong dare squawk about their meager pay “raise.” And the press were putty in his hands. Now it was time to roll up those little sleeves.

The Governor will not put up with any of this partisan legislation that seeks to divide us now that we are so bi-partisan. No constitutional amendments either. If we want the constitution amended we will let the courts do it in a bi-partisan way. After all, Lynch said, “Thats the way we do things now,” as he introduced his new Supreme Court pick.

Then, as suddenly as he appeared, and before his new insurance plan could crash and burn, the Governor was carried away on the shoulders of the subservient, moderate Republicans, as Democrat Chair Kathy Sullivan shouted insults at them.

All in all it was pretty good theatre.