Provocative Predictions Pompously Presented

 

Top Ten Predictions For 2007


  1. Governor Lynch, after hiring a reporter from one of the NH dailies as his new press gopher, will stun the public when he announces he will hire a reporter from each NH daily paper to add to his collection. They are to begin work next year by sitting in his corner office grooming each other like a family of baboons.

  2. Senator John Edwards will announce from the flood zone in Cheshire County NH that he intends to run for president in 2012.

  3. US Senators John Sununu and Judd Gregg will come to the conclusion something is going on in NH and begin sending Christmas cards to voters.

  4. The NH Sate Supreme Court, after hiring a former Boston Globe writer for a press aid, will now pursue a qualified director for their new music video, “Claremont, Claremont Wachagonnado”.

  5. Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter-Swett will be challenged in her first primary by five other moon-bats. Moonbats will be her toughest opponents and she knows it.

  6. Senator John McCain will find out independent voters in NH are more interested in screwing up the Democrat Primary this time.

  7. The View Tax will be followed by the Fresh Air Tax. And the Assessing Standards Board will deny they did it - or even that it exists.

  8. The new NH Legislature will show everyone how “real” fiscal conservatives run a state. Their first legislative act will be to require seat belts in the House balcony.

  9. None of the moonbats with Kerry Edwards bumper stickers still on their Volvos will bother scrape them off. Instead, they will pretend it means something special and be prouder of themselves than ever. Of course on the flip side it will make it harder to find your own car at Panera's. So little Aiden and Britney will have to make sure they get in the right station wagon.

  10. Sandy Berger will design, market, and sell PC compatible pantyhose for storing large amounts of documents. Hillary will order a bulk shipment in Jumbo-Queen size.