Provocative Predictions Pompously Presented
Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 02:59PM
Top Ten Predictions For 2007
Governor Lynch, after hiring a reporter from one of the NH dailies as his new press gopher, will stun the public when he announces he will hire a reporter from each NH daily paper to add to his collection. They are to begin work next year by sitting in his corner office grooming each other like a family of baboons.
Senator John Edwards will announce from the flood zone in Cheshire County NH that he intends to run for president in 2012.
US Senators John Sununu and Judd Gregg will come to the conclusion something is going on in NH and begin sending Christmas cards to voters.
The NH Sate Supreme Court, after hiring a former Boston Globe writer for a press aid, will now pursue a qualified director for their new music video, “Claremont, Claremont Wachagonnado”.
Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter-Swett will be challenged in her first primary by five other moon-bats. Moonbats will be her toughest opponents and she knows it.
Senator John McCain will find out independent voters in NH are more interested in screwing up the Democrat Primary this time.
The View Tax will be followed by the Fresh Air Tax. And the Assessing Standards Board will deny they did it - or even that it exists.
The new NH Legislature will show everyone how “real” fiscal conservatives run a state. Their first legislative act will be to require seat belts in the House balcony.
None of the moonbats with Kerry Edwards bumper stickers still on their Volvos will bother scrape them off. Instead, they will pretend it means something special and be prouder of themselves than ever. Of course on the flip side it will make it harder to find your own car at Panera's. So little Aiden and Britney will have to make sure they get in the right station wagon.
Sandy Berger will design, market, and sell PC compatible pantyhose for storing large amounts of documents. Hillary will order a bulk shipment in Jumbo-Queen size.
Reader Comments (3)
(I think I woke up my wife upstairs. I going to blame you Ed.)
My favorites: Numbers 2 through 5, I even liked number 9, but number 3 proves you are an Independent Conservative, Ed. That one took guts. (FYI: How did you know my Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker stayed on my Saturn? And hey, don't dis Panera...got some good scones there now...)
But Number 10...eh!
Mind if I add a few?
11. Conservatives remember that McCain is not a Bushie-bot. Liberals remember he is pro-Life, anti-tax and pro-Iraq. He comes in second to Mitt Romney in the Republican NH Primary in 2008 (..late 2007?).
12. Donald Trump announces his candidacy for President to bring honest accountablity to Washington.
13. In 2008 at least one Democratic presidential candidate will be indicted in the "Nevada Caucus Point Shaving Scandal" (Didn't they learn anything from UNLV in the 80s and 90s?)
and finally...
14. (sorry Ed, had to do this...) In an interal upheaval major Al Queda leadership, up to and including Osama bin Laden himself, are usurped by the "Al Queda Squirrel" faction of the terrorist organization.
Spokessquirrel Simon Chittercheeks is quoted as saying, "Far to long has jihad been focused on terrorism. We have been distracted away from the true jihadist goal of snatching food from the human infidels."
The squirrels announce the installation of their new leader, Alvin Nibblenut.
--(FoJ)
15. Bob Wodward set to interview President Gerald Ford again next week. Revealing book release planned for two weeks before the next election claiming the former president was the one who leaked Valerie Plame's name to Bob Novak. Who then forgot it wasn't classified information.
You had me in stiches...good stuff! I have a prediction that some may have over looked.
In the upcoming 10 year transportation plan to be proposed by the democrat leadership in the House, A $1,000,000 will be budgeted for a statue of Ex Speaker Doug Scamman (the Republcan Speaker who made it possible for the democrat takeover of the House) to be placed in front of the Statehouse but to the surprise of republican House leadership, NHDOT gets it hands on statue of the late "President" of Iraq for a dollar (provided by NY Senator Chuckie Shummer) and NHDOT resculps the head with famous tax and spend grim of Ex Speaker Scamman.
Speaker Norelli and Gov. Lynch will unviel the statue after a "legislators for limitless spending" meeting.
Another "prediction", Democrat controlled NH Legislature outlaws Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant and Seabrook secedes to Quebec. Bill Shaheen is appointed power czar and buys back Seabrook power for 3 times the cost and because Seabrook is a part of Quebec, a vote for Quebec Sesession passes by 7 votes.
Happy New Year to All!