He Can Manage Prison Hedges

It’s a teaching moment grasshoppers.

 

The basic principal of a classic Ponzi scheme: you pay the first investors to the scheme who cash out, with money from new investors. This, hedge fund investor, Mr. Bernie Madoff knows quite well.

 

Bernie Madoff also knew which side of the bread to butter when it came to politics; Bernie was a big time donor to liberal Democrats such as Chuck Schumer, Charlie Rangel, Governor Corzine, Clinton, Obama, and my favorite, the ACLU.

 

Mr. Madoff, the super hedge fund manager to Jewish elites, used his connections to worm his way into all kinds of sweet deals with people so rich they didn’t bother to check his credentials or ask serious questions about his investments. So I think the losses suffered by most of them are not that big a deal. Some small investors will suffer as will most of the non-profits he supported to gain cocktail party stardom status - a must in his small world.

 

But Mr. Madoff was doomed from the start with his Ponzi scheme because it was an IMPERFECT Ponzi scheme.

 

Where is my proof of this?

 

Well, who will “invest” with Mr. Bernie Madoff’s imperfect Ponzi scheme now! And with no new “investors’ to pay the annual 10% dividends he was making his pals, the calliope stops making music and the pretty horses stop going around, next thing you know your trapped in your $5 million dollar penthouse.

 

Once again, Mr. Bernie Madoff’s problem with his imperfect Ponzi scheme was the lack of new “investors” as people in this bad economy wanted some cash back and stock market losses caught up with him.

 

If only Mr. Madoff could have found a way to make his Ponzi scheme perfect, you know, by having an endless supply of investors who would be forced to invest, investors who always paid up and who had faith in him. Now that would be a more perfect system.

 

But the US Social Security System already has that market covered. It’s the perfect Ponzi scheme - except for the part in their scheme where all the investors cashing out eventually consume more than all the forced investors entering the scheme for the first time. This will occur sometime around 2016. Mr. Madoff will still be in jail and politicians in Washington will be in a panic trying to fix our almost perfect government Ponzi scheme.

 

I heard Democrat Chuck Schumer is going to donate all the Madoff money he got for his campaigns to charity. See, now all is better.