Like Money In The Bank Vault

So it’s late at night and I am parked on the sofa in front of the old boob tube trying to keep both eyes open when this limited offer jumped out at me:

 

“The Obama Historic Victory Plate™ is a treasured collectible work of art that can be proudly displayed on shelves, table tops or can be hung on a wall. The first issuance price is only $19.99. Included with your plate is a bonus display stand and Certificate of Authenticity from the American Historic Society promises you'll own a collectible of the highest quality and integrity. Due to the unprecedented demand, there is a strict limit of 2 Victory plates per order.”

At first I thought, what a rip off, you always get a surprise offer at the end of your average amazing offer of not just one but TWO, count’em, TWO for the price of just one, nose hair clipper, pocket fisherman, lint catcher, dog nail trimmer, etc.

 

But the Obama plate comes at a LIMIT of two, due to “unprecedented demand” for this high quality item. (I’ll be waiting to purchase my plates because I learned from being able to buy two Dukakis books for $1.00 each that time and reality have a way of lowering demand.)

 

Now if you are talking Certificate of Authenticity, well you may have a customer in old Ed Naile. (Wow, my first third person reference to me by me.)

 

Skip the collectable plates and offer me a Certificate of Authenticity of Mr. Obama himself and you have a customer my friend.

 

You know I’m talking Birth Certificate, right? The Birth Certificate locked away in the State of Hawaii’s birth certificate vault somewhere. Oh for a copy of that document.

 

Here is the rub. State law in Hawaii when the Messiah was born allowed persons not born in Hawaii to get a Certificate of Birth, which has been released by the Obamaites.

 

The law:

 

[§338-17.8] Certificates for children born out of State. (a) Upon application of an adult or the legal parents of a minor child, the director of health shall issue a birth certificate for such adult or minor, provided that proof has been submitted to the director of health that the legal parents of such individual while living without the Territory or State of Hawaii had declared the Territory or State of Hawaii as their legal residence for at least one year immediately preceding the birth or adoption of such child.

(b) Proof of legal residency shall be submitted to the director of health in any manner that the director shall deem appropriate. The director of health may also adopt any rules pursuant to chapter 91 that he or she may deem necessary or proper to prevent fraudulent applications for birth certificates and to require any further information or proof of events necessary for completion of a birth certificate.

(c) The fee for each application for registration shall be established by rule adopted pursuant to chapter 91. [L 1982, c 182, §1]

 

Hard as it may be to understand, we now have a court case headed to the US Supreme court (a total of 13 cases actually) because Mr. Obama has the lack of audacity to ask the State of Hawaii to open up a vault, and in the interest of fair play and sanity, show interested parties subject to his rule as the Messiah of the United States, his original 1961 birth certificate. Some of his Chicago hard ball political survival skills are still in effect I see.

PARTIES

  1. Plaintiff, Plaintiff, Philip J. Berg, Esquire [hereinafter "Plaintiff'], is an adult individual with a business address of 555 Andorra Glen Court, Suite 12, Lafayette Hill, PA 19444-2531.
  2. Defendant, Barack Hussein Obama, alk/a Barry Soetoro, alkla Barry Obama, alk/a Barack Dunham, a/kla Barry Dunham [hereinafter "Obama" is an adult individual with an office address of713 Hatch, Senate Office Building, Washington D.C.
  3. Obama, The Democratic National Committee (hereinafter referred to as "DNC") is a Corporation with a principal address of 430 S. Capitol Street SE, Washington, DC 20003.
  4. Defendant, The Federal Election Commission (FEC) was created in 1975 by Congress to administer and enforce the Federal Election Campaign Act (FECA). The FEC is a Governmental Agency with a principal address of 999 E Street, NW, Washington, DC 20463.

 

This is much more interesting than those cheesy plates.

 

When you think of how much the US Government and the DNC are willing to spend in unnecessary legal fees to keep the Barry Obama birth certificate under lock and key you have to ask yourself this question:

Is the Messiah planning on selling Official Barry Obama Birth Certificates in the future? Maybe in four years?

I can see it now:

“The Obama Historic Birth Certificate Plate™ is a treasured collectible work of art that can be proudly displayed on shelves, table tops or can be hung on a wall. The first issuance price is only 19 Euros. Included with your plate is a bonus display stand and Certificate of Authenticity from the Democrat National Committee which promises you'll own a collectible of the highest quality and integrity. Due to the unprecedented demand, there is a strict limit of 2 Birth Certificates per order, one from Hawaii and one from Kenya. And if you order within the next ten minutes you will receive a five lb. package of assorted worthless US paper money.”