You're Fired

My Gosh My Golly – What Happened To Holly

Poof! Gone! Done! Over! Fired!

That’s the way it goes in Windsor, NH when you are the secretary to the three Selectmen being audited for not collecting property taxes from a select group of pals and relatives for a minimum of EIGHT years (The records previous to this fiasco are missing – surprised?).

But wait, you might say. The secretary isn’t in charge of collecting taxes, she just keeps notes and runs the selectman’s office, why fire her, and besides, she has never in nine years had a bad review because the selectmen don’t do employee reviews. (This is going to go over like lead balloon at the NH Employee Labor Relations Board.)

Let’s peek in at the future meeting:

(NHELRB) “Holly could you tell the Board just what lead up to your being terminated from your position as the Selectman’s secretary, where you worked for nine years?”

(Holly) Yes, I was at a Selectman’s meeting getting ready to take notes and as soon as the meeting started I was told it would be my last.

(NHELRB) Did you notice anything out of the ordinary up to that point, you know, with the way the town was running?

(Holly) No, the Selectmen and Tax Collector were not collecting property taxes from friends and relatives just like always when the Tax Collector got so far behind that she couldn’t put a Treasurer’s Report in the Town Report for Town Meeting. We got sued and lost, so we had to deliver what records we had to local people who can read and the next thing you know, the tax collector quit – so did one Selectman. So everything was like usual except it was on the cover of the Boston Globe.

(NHELRB) And what part did you play in this Holly?

(Holly) Well nothing. I don’t make decisions. I don’t get invited to secret meetings, and everything in the filing cabinet is constantly pawed through by just about anyone who walks in.

(NHELRB) So you have not, in the eight years you worked for Windsor, had any type of employee evaluation, letter of reprimand, request from the Selectmen to take training because of a lack of knowledge, or problems completing your job you know of?

(Holly) Nope.

(NHELRB) Holly, can you type?

(Holly) Yes.

(NHELRB) Holly, can you read and write?

(Holly) Sure.

(NHELRB) Now Holly, answer carefully, CAN YOU SPELL?

(Holly) Of course!

(NHELRB) OK then Holly, can you spell SCAPE GOAT?