“Oh yea, well your mother wears combat boots!”

That is a clever line I drop occasionally when someone gets my goat and I need an instant verbal response. But then I am not a professional comedian like Kathy Griffin. Kathy has years of experience and a huge repertoire of insults and clever comebacks with which to corner a heckler, such as this one she used on CNN’s New Year’s Eve show while co-hosting with some other person:

"Screw you," she told the heckler. "Why don't you get a job, buddy? You know what? I don't go to your job and knock the d- - - out of your mouth."

Man, I envy anyone who can wordsmith a snappy, scissor kick retort right back at a heckler like Kathy Griffin did the other night! She certainly has a talent for quick thinking.

I was flipping channels and stumbled upon Kathy Griffin asking her counterpart, during their hosting of CNN’s New Year’s Eve debacle, what brand of clothing he was wearing so she could do her trademark put-down of his clothes, class, and sense of “what’s in style this very second” awareness.

Then it hit me. That shtick is all she knows! Kathy Griffin is scared to death she is out of her element doing a New Year’s Eve show and will look like a fool, which in her limited Hollywood habitat is an unforgivable sin – depending on what kind of fool you look like.

Now CNN has to act like it was their plan all along to have an outrageous/vulgar Griffin spouting off during a live broadcast so they won’t look foolish as well.

And in the end, many viewers were left puzzled by CNN and Griffin’s combined example of symbiotic stupidity and elitist peer pressure to not look foolish or un-hip.

What a way to start the New Year.

Lucky for them April 1 is just around the corner and they can do a mini-series together.