Did I Mention I Almost Was Arrested Last Tuesday?

Yep, I was passing a small construction site in Hillsboro when a smart young officer jumped in his cruiser and gave chase to "The One And Only" slowly passing in his Dodge Dakota.

"Did you know you were driving on a revoked license?" he asked. (And something about towing my truck.)

So I told him if this was about a ticket from Ohio I had the receipt for paying that ticket in my pocket along with the receipt for the registered letter to Milan, home of the court house, in Erie County.

He seemed deflated, and confused and asked me to go meet him at the police station in Hillsboro where I showed him the receipt and matching dates which proceeded the revocation of my license by NH on behalf of Ohio for a ticket I got from a confused Officer Ivy who doesn't know Ohio traffic statutes.

After calling the NHDMV in Concord and getting NO HELP, the Hillsboro Officer issued me a summons for December 15 for the local court and I went to Concord to get the mess straightened out.

That took about an hour and a Mr. King gave me a document saying the revocation on behalf of Ohio had been rescinded. Lucky me.

I took the paperwork back to Hillsboro and another officer told me it didn't mean anything and that I would have to go to court and straighten it out. So I asked him if I could read the paperwork from the DMV and explained to him the difference between REVOKED and RESCINDED.

You're right, you're right, you're right, he said. So I asked if we could fix the December 15 court problem so I wouldn't have warrant for missing that date issued against me.

That is where we stand now.

And the eventually helpful Mr. King in Concord also included on my most recent copy of driving record the 1997 revocation of my license by NH on behalf of Massachusetts which was also paid long before my revocation.

In 1998 it turns out I drove on a revoked license for almost a year because of a ticket in Ma. I was pulled over for a bad tail light by an Auburn, NH officer in March of 1999 and almost arrested - except I had the receipt for paying that ticket and it had the matching Ma. violation number on it. So I escaped arrest that time as well.

I 14 years I have had only two tickets, one for speeding in Ma., which I was, and one for not yielding to crazy Ohio Officer Ivy when she had some other poor bastard pulled over - which was undeserved because Officer Ivy doesn't know Ohio traffic law.

And I learned several things:

1. Keep the receipts IN YOUR WALLET until they disintegrate.

2. Never assume the police know anything about their profession if it involves reading or computers.

3. Ohio Officer Ivy is a nut.