Where Does Jonathan Gruber Live?

I’m a municipal guy when it comes to political activism. Give me towns and schools any day over the two-faced, back-stabbing goings on wrong in any legislature.

I like it up front and in your face. Everybody knows who everybody else is. That is what Town Meeting is all about.

That is not to say we don’t have our local Jonathan Gruber, the ObamaCare MIT genius.

You know the type, absolutely absorbed in some adopted issue of the day.

A “Local Gruber” is the type of guy who knows everything about everything, except what it feels like to get a punch in the mouth from a respectable person who has had enough. We are a way too civilized nation these days and that lack of instant, deserved retribution for Local Gruber nonsense is the norm these days – until things change. Everything comes in cycles you know.

Some small towns are blessed in that they may not have a Local Gruber for several years, but they always seem to butt in.

College towns are loaded with Local Grubers. Look at the Dunkin Donuts in Henniker for instance. Henniker had Local Grubers on the ZBA and Planning Board who took a two acre lot and made it into a Chinese finger trap for traffic.

We have a Local Gruber in my town of Deering on the ZBA who after writing the Wetlands Ordinance is amazed at how much stuff he now finds in it!

Bedford’s Local Gruber, David Sacks, Grubered the new school he was selling to the Town with tales of a thirty cent per-thousand price tag. He was totally self-mesmerized with the thought of himself getting that school no matter what. There is a picture of him on the front page of some local paper screaming when the bond vote passed during a snow storm. He’s a Local Gruber.

Local Gruber’s often come with college degrees from schools that pump out Grubers by the dozens. You can also spot them by the fact they can’t change a tire, wear traditional Gruber attire (light blue, bark blue, striped blue and occasionally white dress shirts.), Grubers need a walking stick for a hike and sissy pants for a bike ride.

Can you spot the Local Gruber at your town or school meeting?

First, look up front at the tables. Is anyone bored with anyone talking but himself? He might be your Local Gruber.

Does some certain well bred professional get all pouty and throw tantrums when a vote doesn’t go his way? That might be your Local Gruber.

And finally, does anyone in your municipality take 500 words to write a letter to the editor about nothing in excruciating and miniscule detail? That is how Local Grubers sell their schemes.

Oh, and don’t forget condescension.