Joe the Plumber, Redux

By Mike Marsh

 

With all the bad news out there, from financial meltdown to ice storm to shoe-throwing Iraqis, we need a Joe The Plumber. We really do. His antics gladden the heart and lighten the step. He is the male equivalent to Anna Nichole Smith, except his most prominent feature is his dome.

Joe latest antic is an attack on John McCain, the man who made him famous. Joe allowed as how he was “appalled” at the Republican presidential nominee and “felt dirty” after being with him. That’s classy, Joe. (For those with weakened attention spans, Joe endorsed McCain a week before the election and spent weeks with him on the campaign trail.)

Now Joe didn't say exactly what has now put him off of Mr. McCain, except he hinted on TV that it might be in his upcoming "book". When this kind of statement is done well, it is called a “teaser”. When done badly, it is sad and pathetic. For those who care about what Joe thinks, this book, Joe the Plumber- Fighting for the American Dream, is due out this month and is only $24.95 on his website if you act NOW! If you are somehow able to wait, it will cost you $3, or 2 for $5, at your bookstore's remainder bin sometime in January.

Of course, Joe now thinks Sarah-of-the-North is an entirely different kettle of fish. Of her, Joe said: “Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal. You know, with Sarah Palin, I don't want to say I felt a presence but she definitely had energy and she definitely went to work for American people, and it disgusts me on how often they try to bash her just for her sincerity. It's just, you know, she really wants to work for America and I mean, I wish people would listen to her and let them, and let her work for us.” No doubt Huey Long’s verbally challenged admirers said something along these lines about the Kingfisher. It goes without saying, but heck, I’ll say it anyway, Mr. McCain’s political career is in its descendent and he can do nothing more for Joe. Sarah’s is just beginning, Lord help us, and Joe thinks he can benefit from hitching his name to a rising star.

I don’t recall ever seeing a more perfect illustration than Joe for Mark Twain’s take on human gratitude: “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.