Thumbs Way Down To The Brits, Mr. Bean, Mary, And Sir Paul

We know, we know; London is the first city to host a third Olympic games.  That in itself, at a time when many of the world's greatest cities have never hosted a single Olympics, is an outrage, but the opening ceremonies, no matter how many times NBC hacks told us how spectacular they were, were spectacularly DISAPPOINTING.

The only thing great about the opening was the march of athletes, smiles on their faces in anticipation of great moments to come, but then NBC brought us even that on a tape-delayed basis and didn't hesitate to skip through certain counties as they worked in more and more commercials.  Hey, geniuses at NBC, if are on tape delay anyway, why cut out certain "lesser" counties?  How sickening was it to here Bob Costas mention time and again how the athletes were marching faster than planned?

Very sickening.  That was your problem, Bobby Boy, and we didn't need to keep hearing it.

After the great spectacle in Beijing four years ago, I for one was expecting a letdown in the London opening, but I could never imagine just how hokey or terrible it would be.

Mr. Bean is one of my least favorite British comedians (I actually remember walking out of one of his movies once in Montreal), yet he was given a precious ten minutes of foolishness during the opening.

I admit to enjoying Mary Poppins (a little) 30 or 40 years ago, but is that the best the Brits could serve up to a world awaiting a great opening?

Whoops....we did get some silliness out of Harry Potter.

Then there was that business about the real Queen and the phony James Bond.  NBC and even organizers are still wetting themselves over how clever that gambit was.

Not!

Not at all clever.

The thousands who were "employed" to take down the Hobbit set and get ready for industrial England could just as well have stayed home as far as I was concerned.

This was an Olympic opening, not some move producer's fantasy of what he could do if given enough time and money.

It was a spectacular failure and although i admit to being tone deaf (that's what my seventh grade music teacher convinced me) I certainly cannot be the only one who thought SIR Paul was off key when he sung and shouted Hey Jude at us.

Hey Brits, you'll never get back to days of controlling the world with your imperial bullying.  An island ruling a continent indeed!

Hey Brits, London should never have awarded given the Olympics a third time.

Let's see now..

New York?  Never.

Boston?  Never.

But lest I sound provincial...Toronto?  Never (Montreal and Berlin, my favorite cities, had the games once each and that was enough.  Berlin tried to get the 2000 games, but most Berliners were opposed!)

Rio is a great choice for 2016.

Istanbul would be fantastic for 2020.

Let's never return to a city which has had the games once or twice (no, not even Paris; Athens was an acceptable exception) as long as there are scores of cities waiting for a first try.

And please no more Mr. Bean, Mary popping in, Harry's enemies or graying female lookalike Sirs singing off key.

Now let's get down to the serious stuff like porno beach volleyball (not to mention little girls gymnastics).  Hey, has anyone caught the controversy over how the women competing are so cold in London that they have to triple the number of body inches they are clothed in.

C'est dommage.  C'est tres, tres dommage.

I'll take water polo for a thousand please, Alex, with a touch, just a touch, of phony white water rafting thrown in for good measure.

 

 

Comments

[C. dog]

Female indoor volleyball is superior to that of watching the femme-raisin batting balls in the sun who have clearly exceeded their expiration dates.
– C. dog on point to flush Destinee Hooker & friends from the field

[Rep Steve Vaillancourt]

I actually enjoy the real volleyball, but with sex selling NBC prefers the beach variety. It`s so cold in London that one of the scanitly clad American women was getting cold feet the other night.

A radio show was asking what sport you`d like to see added or dropped. It`s tragic not to have baseball and softball. I could get along without synchronized swimming--many callers didn`t want badminton. And someone suggested jousting be added.

Apparently the Olymics are beging watched here in Montreal. There was a long line to get into the Peel Pub, a downtown sports bar, and they were running out of steaks. I managed to watch Michael Phelps winning race there; I prefer him to that other pretty boy whose name I can`t spell.

[C. dog]

I'm more partial to the underdogs than the Man of Many Medals. Plus, he has all the personality of his fellow water compatriots, the fish.

Totally agree about fake volleyball; way too much air time, way too little talent. I'm afraid baseball and Amerikan football just don't translate to the 5-ring circus. But jousting, now that might be interesting; nothing like country reps skewering one another.
– C. dog